It’s been awhile since I’ve written anything, and I’ve tried to figure out why. I’ve started and stopped over and over again, but it just seems jumbled and random, and just never made sense.
So today I am going to sit and just write. I think one of my biggest hang ups has been trying to figure out what my emotions and my feelings really are.
Lets rewind a little bit. It has been two months to the day that I discovered I had a match with my biological mother (Bio). It has been one month since we connected through email, it has been 25 day’s since we sat on the phone for two hours and 10 days since our last actual contact. Emotionally I feel so full, but a little confused at that same time. I mean, what does all this mean for me? When I go the the doctor this year for my check up for the very first time in my life I can tell her what my family history consists of!!
So, I sat on the phone with Bio for two hours that Saturday. She informed me that she had a child that she was forced to give up for adoption one year before me. Then she became pregnant again with me and hid the pregnancy and the fact that I even exist for all this time, she eventually did get married and had another son. She told me her story, the story that I have always wondered about and prepared myself to hear the best of the best or the worst of the worst and everything in between. She answered every little question I had. She even revealed to me that she gave me a name when I was born. She struggled, she had a hard time with all of this and she came to terms with it all and forgave herself. Which makes me happy. I would have hated to be a burden on her mind.
So, where does this leave me?
Well…Not a whole lot has changed! I still have my normal life. I got to work, I take care of the BrothersDunne, I’m a wife to my amazing hubby, daughter, sister and friend. Only, I have just a little more knowledge of where I came from and feel just a little bit more complete.
There’s still a lot more to uncover, I would love to get in contact with my older brother and eventually, when bio is ready, my younger brother but for now it is all just a thought, and that is Okay!!!