Life is what you make of it. It’s not always going to be good and the bad doesn’t have to be detrimental. It’s all in the way you handle it.
Through out our lifetime we make choices. Some of them are right on point and exactly what we should be doing … others, not so much. I chose a long time ago to live my life without regrets, because at some point whatever it was that I was doing was what seemed like the right thing at the time. AND if it turned out to be a major fail, well, I try to learn as much as I can from it.
For the most part I’m a pretty happy person. I have my moments and my days but mostly I’m happy. I can’t say that, that has always been true in the past though. Like (I think it’s safe to say) most adoptees I battled with some inner demons.
Abondonment, Neglect, Rejection, and Acceptance
Those are just a few that come to mind. In someways those feelings are so deeply routed that it still effects me slightly in my life to this day (nothing in a major way, more like in a “I can’t open the door for the pizza guy” kind of way (don’t ask ha-ha) There was a time that these emotions/fears took me over. It’s funny though because I was raised in such a great home with such amazing parents. Always surrounded by friends and family. From the outside looking in you’d say there’s no need for these feelings. But there I was, alone, not sure how to handle those emotions.
In the years, as I’ve grown older I’ve come to an understanding that it wasn’t abandonment, or rejection. It was love. I strong intense love, a love only a mother could give, a love only a family could give. My parents took me in as their own, because, well, I was their child. It’s just that simple. It doesn’t take blood to have a family, love of family. It’s love, pure and simple love.