Adopted · Adoptee · Adoption · Biological mother · Family · Postivity · Uncategorized · Where Do I come from

The Best Mom

“As a mother the #1 priority is to be the best mother to our children, to give them a good life, teach them the proper morals, love them and always support them. As mothers sometimes we forget, and even lose, the fact that we need to take care of ourselves. Now is working a subpar job 45 hours a week taking care of ourselves? Maybe not directly, but the relationships we build at that subpar job could be. Or that hobby you love and you force yourself away an hour a week could be. Your girls night out once a month could be making exactly what you need to be the best you, you could be.

See for me, I need a healthy marriage, a job I actually enjoy going to, and utilizing my skills, my family and I need my girlfriends! This is what makes me the best me I can be. Which in turn makes me the best mother to my children.

I feel guilty at times. But I’m also teaching my children that YOU! Need to always come first, because if you don’t take care of you, you can’t take care of anyone else!!!”

This was a response I gave to a post “How do you coupe with the guilt of being a working mother?” In one of my moms groups on Facebook

It’s so funny what can get your juices flowing? I’ve had a bit of writers block and haven’t written in quite some time. But that one question has got my mind going!

The guilt and pressures we put on ourselves as parents/mothers is overwhelming! And quite frankly, unachievable. I battle with guilt over wanting a few minutes to myself, or to sit on the couch without little feet in my back and fingers pulling my hair. Knowing that I spend more hours a week at my job (which I love and find very fulfilling) then I do at home with my children. It makes me think,

“How much guilt does a mother battle with when she puts a child up for adoption?”

I think it’s pretty well known by now that I feel adoption is a selfless act. Although I know there might feel differently. Not only are you making a choice to give your child something more than you feel you are capable of, but you, theoretically, will never know the outcome!

Can we just take a moment to think about that?

I just can’t imagine how that must feel, knowing this is a choice that YOU made for your child.

As my relationship grows and builds with my biological mother, I’m started to experience it more second hand. She is very open and answers any questions I have. She has felt a lot of guilt because of me, and the situation, but she always felt that her choice was the right one. Now as we share and grow she is feeling less and less guilt.

I as a mother na understand and relate to how that feels. Never knowing if my choices that I make are the right once’s for my children. But, I do know one this is for sure!

If mom is not okay, then nobody is.

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