In the last few weeks I went from having one older brother to having 4 half brothers!!!!
What in the world! I am one girl of 5 boys! The younger boys don’t know about me yet. The oldest who I mentioned a few posts back was adopted as well. He is the only one that I “knew” of. On my adoption paper work it said I had one older sibling but no other information. With all this coming to a head Karen called up Tim (whom she reunited with years ago) and told him about me and gave him my phone number. A day or so later I received a text. This was a text I was soooo looking forward to.
“Hey Sarah, I am you older brother or half-brother I guess, Karen told me a little about you”
OMG!!! I am now in contact with my brother. The person I had figured I would never find!How would you ever find a person from their year of birth only!!! And here we are texting!!!
Play it cool Sarah, don’t spaz out and act like a crazy person ……… Omgeeeee!
Okay so that might be a little crazier that how it went in my head but that little part of me was worried not to be hyper excited and scare this poor dude off.
It’s a lot like online dating, or what I remember of it, when it was new and not a natural way to meet people. You have this person you are interested in getting to know but you are texting, you lose tone, and emotion. I wasn’t really sure how to respond to him. It was more of a statement and no questions. Do I just go in with my whole life story? Tell him I’ve always been interested in siblings? WE HAVE SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT!!!! Ahhhh. Okay, Sarah calm it down!
You know, he’s just a typical guy lol. We had a nice first conversation getting to know each other a little bit once I pulled a little bit from him it moved a little more naturally. But, there was pulling. So, I didn’t press.
I know I shouldn’t compare but it was all in the matter of 24 hours so, I’m comparing. The very next day I reached out to Stan, my biological father, I gave him my disclaimer telling him I expected nothing and didn’t want to disrupt his life and BAM! We are in the mist of a very natural conversation. It’s very easy and comforting to speak to him. Now these are obviously two very different men, with very different roles so why wouldn’t our conversations be extremely different?
I guess it all comes back to expectations. When it came to biological parents especially father since he knew nothing about me, I had none, but with siblings especially this one since he was adopted like I was, I did. I wanted him to be excited about me like I am of him and want to get to know each other and build this wonderful grand friendship … that’s in my head I know that personality’s play a huge role in it.
So, I’m not getting the same reaction from him as I had hoped. That’s okay! I reached out to him the other day explaining to him what I am interested in, and if he’s not, that’s okay BUT, if he could give me three things. His date of birth, his last name and a picture.
A few days later he granted me with those three things. So, we will just take it all from there!
P.S. there are now three people in the world, besides my children, who I look like! It’s pretty cool!
* All names have been changed to protect their privacy.*